Sunday, June 22, 2003

My apartment has a new inhabitant. It is about ten inches long, plush, cuddly, white, and if you hold it to your nose and say, "What a cute little bunny-wunny," it will eat you. This inhabitant, of course, is none other than the Rabbit with Big Pointy Teeth well known to those who have seen the grisly attack at Caerbannog in the classic tragedy of errors Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

The Rabbit comes with a handbook, providing excerpts from the most precious Book of Bloody Nasty Beasts that speak of this marvel. I quote a passage from the treasured book here:

In truth, this fearsome creature hath but two natural enemies. The first being the three legged weasels of Bath and Wells, and the second being that mooste blessed Holy relic of destructionne, the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, given by God into the hands of his loyal servant, St Attila. Itte is a blessing to me that I maye honor such a saint in the Abbey he founded, and take pleasure in the chaste architecture, and the holy blackjack tables. And with with what pious joy do I enjoye the company of the holy masseuse! All praise to great Attila.


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