Friday, June 06, 2003

Gardening. Its not a pastime. Its a lifestyle.

Some women like to work out so they can improve their looks and fit into a bikini. I work out so i can be a better gardener. I guess you could say I enjoy gardening, but its not enjoyment so much as necessity. I don't think I could live with a yard the size mine is, and not feel obligated to dig in it. Some of my neighbors have acres of nothing but mowable land. This is a waste of natural resources. I sometimes dream of going in and spraying Roundup when no one's looking. Grass is good if you like kicking the soccer ball around, but if you don't do anything with your yard, you should be forcibly moved to an apartment. People who don't live outside don't deserve yards. People who can't tell a cardinal from a bluejay don't deserve to live outside of city limits. People who think thick, weedfree neon colored grass is a sign of a well kept lawn should be shot. You want a lawn like that, buy astro turf. Quit killing birds. Better yet, back your house up on a golf course. I hope the Canada Geese nest on your Adirondack chairs.

Okay, back to gardening. This year Mom's not doing chemo, so its a garden that's all about taking chances. We've got five varieties of tomatoes, and we're only doing one comparative study of soil additives and their effect on plant productivity. We're going to use new seed potatoes this year, unlike last year when we just threw what was left in the basement into the ground (surprisingly productive!). We're even trying corn again, because we put up a really good mesh fence and we're going to try to keep it from getting knocked down instead of ignoring it until we walk in on deer having a garden party at our expense.

This is a garden not only full of possibility, but also full of old friends. That clover from 93? You're seeing it again, this time as a buffer around the fence. We found some peas from 1998 under the back staircase: Who wants to take bets on germination rates? The potatoes in the basement? Yes, the great grandchildren of some catalog store purple taters from '99 are back in the ground, and we're going to see if they can hold their own against the brand new varieties. The dangling reflective ribbons draped over everything should keep the birds off... until they stop keeping the birds off, and that could be in August, or perhaps next week. I come from a state of bets and debts people, step right up, double or nothing!

I'm hoping Bill B. Sees this.. he seems to lose big, and I'm not unwilling to help him out with that.


Post a Comment

<< Home