Monday, May 19, 2003

Was I going to blog more about the Medici? Yes I think I was.. but the lure of discussing The Bachelor has overcome my desire to sound smart. Lets pull out my big book of pop-sociology and have a little fun, ladies.

Firestone man chose perky Blond Jen over stunning Brunette Kristen!

I think we could safely remove the women's names and we would get the same idea of what's being presented to the person watching the show or reading MSN's wrapup of the story: The Blond one wins again. The truth is, Firestone boy chose Jen because she was more socio-economically matched with him. Her family was well off, with a big home on a lake in Chicago. Most everyone out in California lived at some point in the northeast or midwest. The folks in the Firestone family are northern californian, not birkenstock long haired folk. They are uptight wine country folk.

Kristen, on the other hand, came from Tampa, Florida. Automatic penalty, because Florida and California, though they may both be warm, are completely different socially. She was also a merchandizer. Mer-chan-dizer. Right. Jen was an account manager.

If you watched the two women speaking, you could detect a difference in their linguistic styles that also foretold Kristen's fate. Jen and Andrew shared phrase styles, and Jen lacked the Florida-girl twang that sometimes crept into Kristen's voice. Andrew of course was bland as white bread in all his expressions, but they were squeeky clean, free of slang or accenting that would reveal a geographical origin. Kristen had a distinct southern (not 'country' mind you) pronunciation, she used less specific words, and she expressed herself in a less careful, humble way that any good upper class midwesterner is brought up using. I'm not saying Jen's eloquent, but comparatively, she was just better with her grammar, like Andy was.

Clearly both women were beautiful in the mass media sense of the term: Skinny, big boobed and sharp faced. Once that's out of the way, mother nature gets out of the picture and father culture steps in to break up the party like God smiting the Tower of Babble. I'm sure Kristen will find a good man some day, but I think she should stear clear of northern bred wasps with close knit families.


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